Transportation

Mindfulness Multiple Sclerosis: 9  Transportation

I think of, and sometimes share, this story: The rains keep falling, the flood waters are rising. Water is getting higher. A boat passes by, the people in the boat yell to the man to ‘come on board!’ The man says, ‘no worries, G-d will save me!’ The water rises higher now—the man goes up on the roof of the house. A second boat rides by. The people on board implore the man to join them. He says, ‘no, no- G-d will save me!’ Now the water is up to the man’s nose. A helicopter flies overhead and drops the man a rope. Grab on, the pilots shout. But he refuses, saying only, ‘G-d will save me.’ The man drowns. He meets G-d in the afterlife. He says, ‘G-d, I had so much faith in you- why didn’t you save me?’ G-d answers, ‘I sent you 2 boats and a helicopter!’

This is why, after treating the MS alternatively for over 15 years, I am now taking allopathic medicines . Still strong faith in G-d, still learning daily, ready now to heal completely and completely heal! Willing to give up my handicap parking tag, if I can now walk strongly in this world. Ready to forego Social Security disability money, if instead I can foster the energy to be wake-ful throughout the day, if I can write with my dominant right hand again, and have the dexterity to work in the world.

I currently take three MS pharmaceuticals:  LDN, a miracle drug in its own right. I’ve had two MRIs since I started taking it, 1/1/11. I have no new lesions, no active lesions since then. Ampyra – billed as ‘the MS walking drug’, which may or may not be helping anymore, though my body notices if I am late in taking a dose. And now recently, I’ve started Tecfidera. This is my second go at beginning this med that I’m very hopeful about. I had to stop the first time because my body would not tolerate it intestinally. Vomiting and severe diarrhea, nausea and an overall unwellness. This time, guided by my neurologist, we are starting slowly, slowly. Eating fats is key- peanut butter ½ hour before is highly recommended. Also taking a baby aspirin, for this medication can cause flushing and itching as a side effect too.

But I also use nature’s remedy: cannabis. There are many beneficial aspects of medical marijuana. It is shown, anecdotally, and in trials too, to help alleviate pain, and is unequaled when it comes to muscle spasms. It helps children who have seizure disorders, limit their seizures and even eliminate them. It helps cancer patients, and those who suffer from HIV Aids have a stronger appetite so they can eat nourishing foods, and it helps people to sleep. Although, I do like the sensation of being high from the THC, these days, it’s the other CBDs that mostly interest me. Every state should legalize its use. Medical Marijuana is produced in high grade- as oil, cookies, tinctures, of course many people like to smoke or vape the unadulterated plant… There are different strains to explore- and find the one most healing for you. I am truly grateful that my state, NY, is number 23 to do just that. I look forward to going into dispensaries to purchase my medicine. I don’t mind that it will be taxed, as long as my tax money goes to the schools, or infrastructure projects that my state may need. I, myself, am reading and learning all I can about this herb so that I may be of use in this new economy.

My question right now is if I am in an exacerbation. My eyes are off- seeing double in the car, when much stimuli is coming towards me, thankfully, I keep an emergency eye patch in the glove box for driving. I’m finding too, that when I write or type, I am closing one eye, to better see the screen or page. This is not a new symptom, as optic neuritis was my first indication that I had multiple sclerosis, and has revisited me as a symptom over the years (see past MF MS blog posts). Double vision has been an older symptom as well. Something that is new, is that my mouth is numb: lips, gums, tongue. Not that I can’t feel my finger nail scratching my lips- or heat- just that it feels different. The roof of my mouth is numb too. Esoterically, I have to wonder at my ‘vision’ and where in my life is my speech stunted.

Of course, my goal is to heal completely. I need to stabilize this illness (which I must do if I am to be a candidate for the stem cell trial that my neurology practice is conducting in NYC.) My friends know that I can heal. I’ve known this too- and I hope that I still do. It’s just that 18 years with this illness has gotten me a bit down trodden. But I’ll never give up hope, or faith, or Trust in the Most High G-d. I’ll take the boat or helicopter for my own healing! Blessings