Walk the walk

Unsteady

Been a tough weekend for mobility, but inspiriting!! Bernie Sanders stumped for Zephyr Teachout (running for the 19th congressional district.) At a local park in my town. I stood on the grass on this lovely late summer day,in the strong sun. After these 2 motivating progressive activist’s speeches, I realized walking would be a struggle, and it was, every step. My groovy leg brace, and olive wood walking stick, are little help in the face of body fatigue!

A day later, I sat on the grass again, in the strong sun, to watch my little boy’s first soccer game. Coaching myself: legs, engage, muscles, hold the body up, walk forward, take another step. “I think I can, I think I can…”

The question of “what is my life’s walk,” Comes to mind. Or more importantly, “how can I be of service in the world?” or as Jewish sages call it, Tikkun, or repair of the world. In the wise words of, Howard Thurman,

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Answer: do what you love! So I am facilitating a dream group at the Center for Symbolic Studies, a new venue for me to host at, but I’ve been coming to the dream group at CSS, under the masterful tutelage of Stephen and Robin Larsen for 19 years! (Since I moved to the Mid-Hudson Valley.) Substitute facilitating when so honored.

Steve certified me to be a dream group facilitator 6 years in, of a direct lineage of teacher to student to Carl G. Jung, whose picture adorns his office, I have also had the great, good fortune of learning with, and being certified by master teacher and minister, Jeremy Taylor, of MIPD, and dream shaman, “the maestro”, Robert Moss.

And a further report on these symptoms caused by MS, the pain level in my right shoulder is high! wow- an electric pulse coursing through me, my right side of my jaw has joined the fray- maybe the Medical Marijuana takes the edge off? (see previous blog post: Medical Marijuana Today, I went for my first session of Qi Gong with a phenomenal woman, Helen B., who is offering this ancient knowledge as her service in the world

A little later in the season with the changing leaves in this pic.

. Though my body is limited in the motions it can make to gather the energy, let this serve as a baseline from which to only improve, and may this martial art bring renewal in mind, body, breath!.

Here is the event invite for the next dream-sharing circle I’m hosting: https://www.facebook.com/events/210249016059245/
If you find yourself in New Paltz, (which I highly recommend), Come do dream work with us!

Wounded Dreamer

Repost from Tumbler blog: Mindfulness MS

There is a word in Sanskrit, ‘amorock’, that means the wounded healer. This archetype that Carl Jung wrote about has been extrapolated by his student, “to be at home in the darkness of suffering and there to find (gems) of light and recovery with which, as though by enchantment, to bring forth Asclepius, the sun like healer.”  Asklepious himself, is a dream healer of Ancient Greece.

And tonight we light the first candle to remember and honor Chanukah. Recovery next? We can always aim for healing. I blew my top today- not at anyone, but just yelled in frustration in general. It felt good, emptying, but still a bit like defeat. I am striving to meet life’s challenges with more equilibrium. I see this illness is teaching me balance, too. What else? Compassion for others who suffer, empathy for those who are living a challenging journey. Prayers, blessings, well-wishings for those who might need them, presence with self in this moment. Tired though I be, the end of the evening is in sight.

It is Thanksgiving time. I feel we should be thankful at all times, even for our struggles. It is not always easy. The physical body offers more challenges, and more lessons, than we would otherwise be able to accrue There is no place like the Earth in this multi-verse (as dream teacher, Robert Moss calls it.)

To witness extreme generosity (of time and talent) at the Repair Café of New Paltz, was heartening, where people volunteered to brighten the day of strangers and neighbors. The turtle lamp lives on, my favorite black cotton sack has 2 connected straps again, and the tear Levi made in the upholstered couch cushion is mended. Then, I am called forth to ‘pay it forward.’ By being our best selves, we encourage our best selves to shine forth. This, the month of gratitude. I’ve never taken on the practice of stating a reason for being thankful each day of November, but I love to read people’s posts, and I do strive to be grateful always.

It is quite amazing how far one can go out on a limb, and have it not crack! I wrote of ‘the breaking point’ in a previous post. When the tree pushes through the rock on the shale beach, and grows towards the sun. Is that what we can expect? Soldier through your life, courageous and inspired, and rise in the light- hopefully, within this lifetime. I used to say about life that I am on the accelerated path. But I didn’t then know what was in store. The long illness and much too early passing of my mom, the illness my grief would allow into my brain and body.  I would hike in the amethyst mine behind my house in the Rocky mountains of Colorado after my mother’s death and wish to be struck by lightning- an act of G-d that would end my suffering. Instead of ending my suffering, it opened a door to walk through- the optic neuritis was my first symptom on this journey of MS. But I know that even if we cannot consciously choose our hurdles, we can decide what attitude to bring into our stride. Positive thinking is key! Kindness, for self and other, bravery and faith. Similar to lucid dreaming, though we are not choosing the images, symbols, nor story line, we do respond, awake in the dream time! I can choose to gallop my dream horse, lance in hand to slay the dragon that has been terrorizing the village and claim the virgin bride.

I can choose to see illness as a path of learning and dance, and I write poetry from the images of dream. As my teacher Robin Larsen says, these are the ”gifts from the land of dream”.

The Dance

In elegant elipses, he leads me                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          With a sturdy arm, an upright spine, a graceful gait                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Gently to the pianist’s evocation of beauty                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           He is dying, and I am dying, he is accepting, and I am resigned                                                                                                                                                                                                                         The parquayed floor is round- and diners clink their glasses                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  At the dance, we are very much alive]

by, Yiskah Koock

Wind is sailing through the branches and last leaves of the trees. The bright moon wanes , and ever an honor to chart the passing of time by. I had my first appointment with my new neurologist today. Off to a very positive start! He’s affirming of how I treat this illness, has great energy and is positive about the healing potential that can grace this situation. I feel hopeful- and that, I think is the greatest thing a doctor can give to a patient. My previous neurologist said to me, “If you are not going to follow my advice on what medicine you should be on, what do you need from me?” I answered, “Moral support.” That is what I received today, and for this too, I am Thankful.