Walk the walk

Unsteady

Been a tough weekend for mobility, but inspiriting!! Bernie Sanders stumped for Zephyr Teachout (running for the 19th congressional district.) At a local park in my town. I stood on the grass on this lovely late summer day,in the strong sun. After these 2 motivating progressive activist’s speeches, I realized walking would be a struggle, and it was, every step. My groovy leg brace, and olive wood walking stick, are little help in the face of body fatigue!

A day later, I sat on the grass again, in the strong sun, to watch my little boy’s first soccer game. Coaching myself: legs, engage, muscles, hold the body up, walk forward, take another step. “I think I can, I think I can…”

The question of “what is my life’s walk,” Comes to mind. Or more importantly, “how can I be of service in the world?” or as Jewish sages call it, Tikkun, or repair of the world. In the wise words of, Howard Thurman,

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Answer: do what you love! So I am facilitating a dream group at the Center for Symbolic Studies, a new venue for me to host at, but I’ve been coming to the dream group at CSS, under the masterful tutelage of Stephen and Robin Larsen for 19 years! (Since I moved to the Mid-Hudson Valley.) Substitute facilitating when so honored.

Steve certified me to be a dream group facilitator 6 years in, of a direct lineage of teacher to student to Carl G. Jung, whose picture adorns his office, I have also had the great, good fortune of learning with, and being certified by master teacher and minister, Jeremy Taylor, of MIPD, and dream shaman, “the maestro”, Robert Moss.

And a further report on these symptoms caused by MS, the pain level in my right shoulder is high! wow- an electric pulse coursing through me, my right side of my jaw has joined the fray- maybe the Medical Marijuana takes the edge off? (see previous blog post: Medical Marijuana Today, I went for my first session of Qi Gong with a phenomenal woman, Helen B., who is offering this ancient knowledge as her service in the world

A little later in the season with the changing leaves in this pic.

. Though my body is limited in the motions it can make to gather the energy, let this serve as a baseline from which to only improve, and may this martial art bring renewal in mind, body, breath!.

Here is the event invite for the next dream-sharing circle I’m hosting: https://www.facebook.com/events/210249016059245/
If you find yourself in New Paltz, (which I highly recommend), Come do dream work with us!

Medical Marijuana

Oh, how I long to be a cannabis oil success story. I have my card! But, the medicine is very expensive. I have budgeted for my healing, and am trying to find the combination of healing products that will help me. In NYS, the 23rd state in the union to legalize medical marijuana, the program is very restrictive on the ailments that can obtain medical marijuana at the dispensaries. Similarly, the way to imbibe the products, as well as what is offered is limited.

There are 3 levels of THC to CBD oil concentrations. The high THC one is called Forte- it’s very nice, helps alleviate pain! The equal parts THC and CBD is called Balance. It is very good at releaving  stiffness and spasms in my calves. the low THC to CBD is called Dolce. (I’ve not tried this one- but I do find it interesting that in order for the CBD oil to be effective, the product does need to have some THC in it!) That is like the “whole plant” advocates, who feel the medicinal qualities of cannabis are best experienced through having all of the elements of the plant involved.

I would have gone to the dispensary today, but my son really didn’t want to, and short of bribing him with an ice cream, I decided I’d go this weekend, when he is out of town w/ his dad/ my estranged husband. In the last blog, that I reposted, I was grateful for partnership. But here I am, single parenting, because life is not a fairy tale. Our little boy is starting a new path this school year, at public school.

I am a Waldorf Early childhood educator. I did my training as a young woman in my early twenties. I also taught for 13 years- until the MS made it too difficult to meet the children’s needs. This is a big change for both of us, My older son had 3 more years of Waldorf, before he too transferred into public school. The transition from Waldorf early childhood (N & K), to public school first grade may be extreme. Not bad, nor too challenging, just ahead in academics (before, he got none.) I am so grateful for what he did gain! A freer childhood, with outdoor play, crafts, rhythm, and community as focus. But he is learning to read at home. Only yesterday, as we were driving in a much less liberal town than the one we hail from, he read his first sign! He said, “Mama, that says Trump!” Can never forget the election of 2016!

On that adventure, we swam in salt water in the rain! As above,so below. And today, it is so crisp out, that one can feel this other transition, heralding in new. And though the humidity is much less, and the temperature has gotten much cooler, my hampered walking/mobility/ equilibrium/shooting shoulder pain dis-ability might be worse? (or the same, which could have still had improvement.) Here is what’s happening- my right foot is dragging. Where as before I felt that wearing a foot brace was re-training my leg how to walk again- from body memory and the assistance, now I feel I need to be wearing it all the time. Which is good, because it is helping, but I certainly don’t want to become reliant on it. This is a custom made brace, fitted to my leg’s specifications, exactly.

I have been practicing incorporating the pain of my shoulder, in my movements. I’m striving to integrate the  hot sensation (see previous blog post: ‘Ability’) I must say, that the sensation is at times, overwhelming! But again, I am grateful for the medical marijuana for alleviating some of the discomfort.

 

The Day the Yellow  Died

Something shifted in me

When I found the light body, of the Monarch butterfly

Lying perfect in the garden

I put it in a silk, beaded box

He found an empty chrysalis in the grass under the swing set

What are the chances they are from the same life?

I heard the call of the wild turkey

Or a hunter’s turkey call, more likely

Andfound the deer slain by the road

She had been eating our carrot tops

So from the near frozen ground

We pulled, and then cooked the sweet roots as a tribute

The yellow pony died of old age, she was 45